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Husband Upset About Wife Going to Male Gynecologist


It is very normal for a Christian or non-Christian man especially if he knows what all goes on in a gynecological exam to be upset about his wife going to a male gynecologist. God intends for the bond between a wife and a husband to be special and it includes the privilege of being the only person of the opposite sex to see and touch each other's private parts.

It is sad when our society labels husbands who do not want their wives to see a male doctor for intimate health issues as jealous and possessive, but has no problems with husband who does not want the next door male neighbor to see his wife bathing naked or a plumber watching his wife using the toilet. Male doctors are no different from other men. You cannot take the "man" out of a doctor.

There are plenty of good female gynecologists women can go to today. The husband has the right to ask his wife to not go to a male doctor for intimate female health issues. His wife also has the right to ask him to not go to a female doctor for intimate things. The truth is when a woman and a man get married; they own each other’s body. Look at this verse: 1 Corinthians 7:4 (The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife). It is very special for a husband to be the only man who can see his wife naked and a wife to be the only woman to see her husband naked. The bond between a husband and a wife is stronger and very special when they choose to let each other be the only sexually mature person of the opposite sex to see and touch each other’s private parts. There is no evidence in the bible that God allows men (including doctors) to touch and see private parts of women to whom they are not married to. 1 Corinthians 7:1 makes it clear that a man should not touch the private parts of a woman who is not his wife. Also, look at this verse in Proverbs 6:29: So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; Whoever touches her shall not be innocent.We do not support a man if he decides that his wife could not receive any medical treatment at all from a female gynecologist (let’s say that she was bleeding so much and needed treatment). Husbands have the responsibility to protect their wives from male doctors. Many male doctors have sexually abused women. Check out a web site about sexual misconduct by doctors. Look at their tips on how women can prevent sexual misconduct in medical settings.

What about Christian husbands who are okay with their wives going to a male gynecologist?

Many of those husbands who do not care about their wives going to a male gynecologist do not know really what all goes on in a gynecological exam. Also, they probably have fallen to the cultural blind spot that doctors are exempt from God's moral standards. Those men have accepted that doctors are experts on the body and that it is okay for them to do pretty much anything in name of medicine.

We encourage all husbands who are upset about their wives going to a male gynecologist to be persistent in convincing their wives to not go to a male gynecologist anymore. Check out the article, Are Male Gynecologists Biblical?

Check out this wonderful article, Holy Matrimony By Robin Phillips. Especially read the modesty section and the below paragraphs about modesty:

The Female Perspective. Some women have told me that modesty is important to them, not only because it helps men not to stumble, but also because it helps them place a high value on their own sexuality. They have told me that modest apparel affirms the true importance of a woman's sexual identity, since it proclaims that her body is not a tame, benign, and commonplace thing. Modesty affirms that our bodies in general and our sexuality in particular are special, charged, even enchanted, and too exciting to be put merely to common use. As Kathleen van Schaijik suggested in a 1999 article, "If we revere something, we do not hide it. Neither do we flaunt it in public. We cherish it; we pay it homage; we approach it with dignity; we adorn it with beauty; we take care that it is not misused."

In her book A Return to Modesty, Wendy Shalit argues that modesty is the truly erotic option, since it makes the highest valuation of a woman's sexual identity, affirming the sacredness of sexuality and displaying a commitment to setting it apart and cherishing it. C. S. Lewis put his finger on the same principle in That Hideous Strength: "when a thing is enclosed, the mind does not willingly regard it as common." To dress immodestly is ultimately to reduce our sexuality to something commonplace, trivial, and humdrum.

Precisely for this reason, a modest woman significantly upgrades the significance of what is happening when she undresses in front of her husband. As Havelock Ellis observed (stumbling upon the truth for one of the few times in his life), "without modesty we could not have, nor rightly value at its true worth, that bold and pure candor which is at once the final revelation of love and the seal of its sincerity."

*We recommend that you consider using Hopewell Counseling for marital counseling if you have a struggling marriage due to wife using a male gynecologist. You should do whatever you can to save your marriage. Keep in mind that God hates divorce. See Malachi 2:16.

 
         
 
         
 

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